This is a post about Hal's poo. I'm really very sorry. But not sorry enough not to post it.

[zoicite]

...I've been rewatching bits of Being Human series 5 for fic research and instead keep catching references alluding to the fact that someone had to deal with Hal's bodily functions while he was tied to that chair.

Dear show: I hate you.

(I don't really hate you. Most of the time.)

But come on. You can't keep your major canon straight over the course of 6 episodes, but in 4 out of 6 of them you can remember to throw in comments and suggestions and props to make sure we *really* get what tying someone to a chair for a month or two would entail?



1. The bucket and toilet rolls in 5x01, of course.



(crappy cap quality, cause I wasn't about to spend THAT much time on this)

Man. it still makes me crazy that they rigged this up right in front of the giant front windows.

2. Hatch's colostomy bag runneth over in 5x02.

Hatch: Shit! Bugger!
Patsy: Captain Hatch, what on earth -
Hatch: So sorry Patsy, my, uh, colostomy bag runneth over. And now I don't have poor Sophie to help, God rest her soul.
Patsy: Uh, right.
Hal: Don't look at me. I'm not doing it.
Patsy: Of course not. The very idea. THOMAS! [Tom comes running] Captain Hatch needs a hand getting cleaned up in his - his toilet area. I'm sure you can manage that.
Tom: Yeah, of course. It'd be a pleasure.
Hal: No, I didn't mean Tom should do it!
Patsy: [to Tom] A bit more suited to your skill set.



At least Hal's rehab ended up teaching Tom some marketable skills?
Ew.

3. Crumb and Alan's rehab in 5x04.

Hal: Look, by bringing them into our pact, we are making it bigger. Stronger. Helping them will help us.
Alex: I don't trust them.
Hal: Good, don't. They're junkies. But with the right sort of help, they can change. If I can be redeemed, surely they can too.



4. Hal's only back in the chair for like 5 minutes in 5x05, but Alex remembers the importance of the bucket.



And really, 500 years of off-and-on abstinence from blood and Hal really hasn't come up with a better method for making it through the first stages of withdrawal than tying himself to a chair with plastic sheeting underneath? Really?

I would have spent a good portion of my 'good' phases actively coming up with more dignified alternatives, personally.

5. Ugh, going back to 5x04, Crumb and Alan get the bucket too. Gross. Seriously, Hal. Wouldn't it have been preferable to just stake them?





I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST TOOK THE TIME TO POST ABOUT THIS. SORRY.

Comments

[rchan.livejournal.com]

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD, RIGHT NOW. XD

I mean... dude. SCRREENCAPS.

WITH HELPFUL LITTLE ARROWS. XD

That's great. ^_^

I totally agree, though, about the front window and that Hal should have come up with something better, because... EW. *gags*

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

I AM GLAD THIS POST AMUSED SOMEONE.

How the hell does Hal manage to attract friends willing to clean up his shit anyway? I mean, especially considering that it's figurative AND literal shit. Oh, Tom and Alex. What has he done to you?

[rchan.livejournal.com]

IT DID. IT REALLY DID. XD

And clearly he's part incubus.

^_^

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

Everything is better with screencaps.

And heh, yeah, someone has totally jokingly already referenced an incubus in this fic in relation to Hal! Did I already tell you that? I feel like I've blathered about this story so much that I don't even remember anymore.

[rchan.livejournal.com]

IT IS. ^_^

And, yes, you did tell me that. I was idea-quoting you. ^_~

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

OH. And here I thought it was a GMTA moment.

[rchan.livejournal.com]

*laughs* It can be one if you want, because on this particular day I came up with the idea on my own... but you're the one who initially put it in my head. ^_^

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

It just occurred to me that they totally had Alex throw out that line in 5x01 about how "If we really wanted to torture you, we'd show you the bathroom" JUST to drive home the point that Hal hasn't been in there for over a month. SHOW.

Okay. I'm shutting up now.

[rchan.livejournal.com]

LMAO! XD

[istne-pieklo.livejournal.com]

I can't stop giggling over: You can't keep your major canon straight over the course of 6 episodes, but in 4 out of 6 of them you can remember to throw in comments and suggestions and props to make sure we *really* get what tying someone to a chair for a month or two would entail? B/c seriously: PRIORITIES XDDDD

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

lol, seriously though.

Also I'm sitting over here cursing myself for not thinking of closing out the post with this yesterday:


Oh, Hal.

[istne-pieklo.livejournal.com]

Oh God, ttly!
Btw I completely agree with everything you said about the Hal/Alex romance. (I do think he's very hot, but that is so not the reason to act like he's suddenly her Prince Charming.))

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think he's pretty hot too. I'm just not sure I find him hot enough that that hotness could survive sitting there for a month watching some dude help him take a dump in a bucket. Because that's the real measure here!

[istne-pieklo.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! Especially if you've basically just met that dude!!! Poor Alex.

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

and especially if this Bucket Month happens pretty much right after you catch him licking your maggoty congealed blood off a cement floor!

Man, he's dreamy.

[istne-pieklo.livejournal.com]

Okay, I honestly don't get this ship. It makes even less sense than Annie/Mitchell to me. O_o

[rchan.livejournal.com]

OK. I don't normally horn in on other people's threads, but...

*dies laughing* EPIC. XD

[shirogiku.livejournal.com]

I'm laughing and sobbing, you're a hero!

[zoicite.livejournal.com]

Ha, thanks! It had to be done. :D